"May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be"

This has been a challenge for me in the last couple of weeks. I haven't posted on this blog in FOREVER, but much has changed in life since my last post. Living in San Francisco now, working, developing new friendships, new life really, and learning how to live life after college. It really has been an adventure. It's funny because I would not have ever guessed this would be where I am right now, but at the same time, I wouldn't have chosen anything different. It's amazing how God puts us where He truly knows is best.
Despite the confidence I feel in God putting me right where I'm at, these last couple weeks I've been battling something that feels somewhat like discontentment, but more so longings that I don't know how to fill and am afraid I won't ever fulfill. I realized the other day when someone asked me, "what are some of your crazy dreams?" That I couldn't really recall. It made me sad. I've always been a dreamer. I've always had some crazy plan, or idea, or agenda. It was in that moment that I wondered, is something inside me dying, Lord am I falling into the routine of "life". It freaked me out. But as I write this, I realize that maybe it wasn't anything to freak out over. Maybe for the first time in a long time, I wasn't mapping out where I would go next. Maybe I was feeling contentedness for the first time in what seems like a long chunk of time.
So I don't really know, but the goodness that came out of that question was that I was reminded to dream big, but trust that God has me exactly where I am today. When I hear of friends going to different countries and working with little one's in orphanages, etc, my heart leaps at the exciting thought of that. My heart leaps at the memories of times I felt God using me to pour out for His glory. But what I so easily forget is that God has me right where I am today to be poured out for his glory at my workplace, with the homeowners I interact with daily, with my co-workers, with the lady at Starbucks I see frequently. The list could go on and on. I don't want to be sitting at my job all day dreaming about ministry when I can truly believe that the ministry God has for me is right in front of me. It's right here in San Francisco, with my company, and with my clients. And I want to wholeheartedly take hold of that, and trust with every fiber of my being that God has me here, now, to reflect His holiness, to fall more in love with Him, to LOVE people DAILY. It seems I have lost sight of that lately. I need more than ever to go into my day equipped with His strength, His spirit, his truth covering me and guarding me. Why is it that when I'm in a "ministry" setting I am so much more likely to find time with God at the start of the day? I'm surrounded by others who are finding time for God, and yet now being in a place where I don't have nearly the amount of support of brother and sisters in Christ, I am stupid enough, actually it's more like self centered enough to think that I can handle all of this. Okay, who knows what my point is? I surely don't, but just thought I should at least ramble on and on about something going on in my life :).